Why Women Are Having Fewer Orgasms and What to Do About It

Despite ongoing conversations about sexual equality, the statistics remain stark: in mixed-gender partnerships, women consistently report fewer orgasms than men.

A recent VICE article highlights a “brutal” truth backed by science — it’s not that women can’t orgasm, but that we’ve built a culture that simply doesn’t prioritize their pleasure.

📊 The Orgasm Pursuit Gap

Researchers coined the term Orgasm Pursuit Gap (OGP) to describe how women often end up shouldering the effort required for climax — while partners frequently assume orgasm will "just happen." The result? Men orgasm in about 90% of encounters, compared to roughly 54% for women.

Both partners—consciously or unconsciously—center male pleasure, often at the cost of female satisfaction.

This inequality reflects broader societal patterns: as women are less likely to masturbate, own sex toys, or even discuss their pleasure, their needs become sidelined in the bedroom. Only about 40% of women report being satisfied with their sex lives, fewer than half have masturbated in the past year, and 62% don’t own a single sex toy.

🎯 Clitoral Stimulation Is Key

Multiple studies confirm that the most reliable path to female orgasm is direct clitoral stimulation — either alone or alongside penetrative sex. Roughly 70–80% of women need it to reach climax. Despite this, sexual encounters often start with penetration, failing to include adequate stimulation for women.

🧠 Cultural Narratives & Shame

Mainstream definitions of sex still lean heavily on penetrative acts. This underlying "coital imperative" frames sex as “real” only when it centers male orgasm. This messaging, combined with inadequate sex education, leads many women to feel ashamed about self-pleasure or distracted by guilt.

Further, the so-called “orgasm imperative”—the internal pressure to have an orgasm—can turn sex from a shared experience into a goal-focused performance, steadily increasing anxiety instead of relaxation.

✅ Advice: Destigmatize, Communicate, Explore

Here’s how individuals and couples can close the gap and change the game:

1. Talk openly about pleasure
   Break the silence: name what feels good. “Gentle pressure around the clitoral hood” or “side‑to‑side strokes” are valid requests. Use sex-positive resources like OMGYes to learn vocabulary and techniques.

2. Practice solo discovery
   Masturbation is essential — not shameful. It builds self‑knowledge and empowers you to ask partners for what you need. It also helps normalize pleasure as personal ownership, not a performance.

3. Include clitoral stimulation every time
   Whether through fingers, toys, or oral sex, persistent clitoral contact is critical. Studies show it raises orgasm chances by 16% at minimum.

4. Redefine what sex means
   Let penetration be part of sex, not all of it. Expand repertoire to include oral, manual, erotic massage, vibrators, and intimate touch — all of which contribute to deeper connection and pleasure.

5. Slow down the pace
   Skip the hurry. Turn off distraction, focus on each other, and make time. Orgasms often need space — emotionally and physically. See pleasure itself as the reward.

Women’s fewer orgasms aren’t a matter of biology; they’re a product of systems, social, educational, emotional, that have under‑resourced female pleasure. By normalizing masturbation, prioritizing clitoral stimulation, and redefining intercourse, sexual experiences can become equitable and joyful.

Pleasure is a right, not a bonus. Let’s start making it one.